I'm kind of an asshole

Not a bitch. An asshole. Possibly certifiable.

That term is usually reserved for dudes, but I believe that women can be assholes, too. I know I am. I thought that I would start collecting proof of me being an asshole

So without further ado, the first installment of

Reasons Why I am an Asshole:

• I rarely hold doors for people behind me. I make exceptions for pregnant women or old people. And sometimes people with their arms full of stuff (only if I accidently make eye contact). But slutty girls texting on their cell phone? They can get the door in the face for all I care.
• When people I don't know or don't like talk to me, I respond with monosyllabic answers. I don't try to continue the conversation. And when I can finally escape the situation, I usually do so with a sigh of relief and a very obvious roll of my eyes.
• I told my sister-in-law that she had a punchable face because she wore those huge sunglasses that make people look like bugs.

And that's all I can think of for now. There are more...oh boy are there more. But I'm too bored to finish this right now.